DOCTORS: PURE UNADULTERATED LUNACY!
After 10 years of back problems, I've come to two inescapable conclusions:
#1) Doctors, being entirely all too human, will likely as not set a patient to a path which, sooner rather than later, leads the still-suffering patient back to the doctor's magazine rack. Sometimes direct; somes circuitously; sometimes, even, to another doctor's* magazine rack. (*A biologist might call this "symbiotic behaviour between competing organisms").
It's an entirely understandable, indeed, almost forgivable behaviour developed over the millenia. Imagine, if you will, in the proto days of the healing arts, a village healer who actually healed. The end result? A healthy village, of course. But, alas, an unemployed healer. Better, in a Darwinian sense, for the alleged healer at least, to only partially heal. Or, better yet, simply provide some temporary relief. Or, best yet, a temporary relief which, alas, brings about new ailments for the ailer. BINGO! New ailments whose ill-conceived treatments invariably provide yet more ailments whose discomforts and prognosis is often far worse than the original. And so on and so forth, ad infinitum (and all too often, ad nauseum). Not to mention one very happy village healer, with a brand spankin' new set of Pings in the trunk of his jet black AMG.
Inescapable conclusion #2) When faced with musculoskeletal ailments, especially the type which evidently accompany the natural aging process, the best course of action is generally to attempt to figure out where the discomfort is actually generated (no small feat, especially for the doctor, who can't actually feel the discomfort, virtually never listens to your answers to the questions he asks you, and pretty much just guesses at the problem and the solutions to the guessed-at problem anyway, regardless of all the zillions of dollars worth of technology at hand). After a few years of discomfort you will eventually understand whatever mechanical malfunction is taking place inside your epidermis. Better yet, your problem will more than likely be well along on its way to taking care of itself....as 90% of these types of problems seem to do. By themselves.
In the meantime? Movement. Lots of it. In every way possible. And as much as possible; without, of course, inflaming the offending muscle, bone, joint, vertebrae, facet, etc, etc. And restrict your intake of calories to roughly match your output of calories, or you'll get fat(ter). You will, most likely, with patient consistency, figure out (usually unconsciously, at first), if not the actual medical diagnosis, at least a newly modified way of functioning; often at a level which is nearly as good as what you had before. Possibly even better! (Or, in the case of your garden-variety couch potato, often a much higher level of functioning will be achieved, since said couch potato suddenly realizes just how wonderful and precious his newfound mobility really is.)
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. DO NOT RELY ON THIS DISINFORMATION. IT IS FICTIONAL, CRAZY, STUPID, UNPROFESSIONAL, LUDICROUS, ILL-ADVISED, PURE UNADULTERATED LUNACY!
#1) Doctors, being entirely all too human, will likely as not set a patient to a path which, sooner rather than later, leads the still-suffering patient back to the doctor's magazine rack. Sometimes direct; somes circuitously; sometimes, even, to another doctor's* magazine rack. (*A biologist might call this "symbiotic behaviour between competing organisms").
It's an entirely understandable, indeed, almost forgivable behaviour developed over the millenia. Imagine, if you will, in the proto days of the healing arts, a village healer who actually healed. The end result? A healthy village, of course. But, alas, an unemployed healer. Better, in a Darwinian sense, for the alleged healer at least, to only partially heal. Or, better yet, simply provide some temporary relief. Or, best yet, a temporary relief which, alas, brings about new ailments for the ailer. BINGO! New ailments whose ill-conceived treatments invariably provide yet more ailments whose discomforts and prognosis is often far worse than the original. And so on and so forth, ad infinitum (and all too often, ad nauseum). Not to mention one very happy village healer, with a brand spankin' new set of Pings in the trunk of his jet black AMG.
Inescapable conclusion #2) When faced with musculoskeletal ailments, especially the type which evidently accompany the natural aging process, the best course of action is generally to attempt to figure out where the discomfort is actually generated (no small feat, especially for the doctor, who can't actually feel the discomfort, virtually never listens to your answers to the questions he asks you, and pretty much just guesses at the problem and the solutions to the guessed-at problem anyway, regardless of all the zillions of dollars worth of technology at hand). After a few years of discomfort you will eventually understand whatever mechanical malfunction is taking place inside your epidermis. Better yet, your problem will more than likely be well along on its way to taking care of itself....as 90% of these types of problems seem to do. By themselves.
In the meantime? Movement. Lots of it. In every way possible. And as much as possible; without, of course, inflaming the offending muscle, bone, joint, vertebrae, facet, etc, etc. And restrict your intake of calories to roughly match your output of calories, or you'll get fat(ter). You will, most likely, with patient consistency, figure out (usually unconsciously, at first), if not the actual medical diagnosis, at least a newly modified way of functioning; often at a level which is nearly as good as what you had before. Possibly even better! (Or, in the case of your garden-variety couch potato, often a much higher level of functioning will be achieved, since said couch potato suddenly realizes just how wonderful and precious his newfound mobility really is.)
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. DO NOT RELY ON THIS DISINFORMATION. IT IS FICTIONAL, CRAZY, STUPID, UNPROFESSIONAL, LUDICROUS, ILL-ADVISED, PURE UNADULTERATED LUNACY!
posted by Jefferson | 8:34 AM
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