GDQ Completely Unqualified Editorial: Bush Suffers from Juvenile Delusional Syndrome

Remember when you got your first car? And all of the sudden it seemed like every fourth car on the highway was the same make & model, and half of them were the same color! Well, I've no idea what the clinical term for this delusion is, so I'll dub it JDS, Juvenile Delusional Syndrome. And it appears that our president has come down with a bad case of it.

During a conservative cream-puff lobbing competition (otherwise known as a press conference) our fearless leader got up off his prayer-swollen knees long enough to inform the reporters that he has a feeling that we---you and me, Joe & Jenny Sixpack---are in the midst of a "Third Awakening." (fade in angel-choir synth swell)

He likened it to the era of that greatest of all Constitution-wreckers, Abraham Lincoln, during whose despotic tenure, so claims the Commander and Chief of the most powerful nation in the history of the human race, there seems to have been a groundswell of support (presumably the "Second Awakening") from the religious people "who saw life in terms of good and evil." Many of his own supporters, he thoughtfully opined, see the current conflict in similar terms. Imagine that.

"A lot of people. In...........America see. This as a confront..........ation. Between good.........And evil including me." Bush stumbled on. "There was a stark....... Change between the culture of the '50s........... And the '60s........boom! (sic)........ And I think. There's change happening...........Here," he struggled on. And then, in a stunning display of verbal agility, he appeared to actually complete a logical sentence: "It seems to me that there's a Third Awakening."

Now, I'm not too sure about the "boom" thing. A newcular tick, maybe?

However, I am convinced of these truisms: anyone in a position of, well, basically, Supreme Commander of Planet Earth, should at the very least be in possession at least a minimal amount introspective ability; and that there appears to be a sociopathically debilitating affliction of the aforementioned JDS at work in our CinC's cranium.

Having embraced this whole Revelation theology hokey---hook, line and sinker---he's not only surrounding himself, albeit unwittingly (as he seems to have done everything in his gilted life), with like-minded "religious people," but also, I suspect, the syndrome has run its course and caused him to begin projecting his own dangerously myopic avoidance of hell-fire & brimstone on those around him, regardless of the fact that he's still surrounded by an entourage of vicious, corrupt, soulless, power-hungry politicals.

And, as if that weren't reason enough to wrestle him into a straightjacket and haul him off to a happier place for safe-keeping, he appears to be attempting to make up for a youth and middle-adulthood of drunken debauchery and drug use by going after---none other than Jehovah's alter-ego and nemesis himself---Allah.

I keep having this recurring nightmare of our president, Stetson in hand, dropping out of the bomb-bay doors of a B-52, riding a killer whale sized nuke like a mechanical bull, hootin' and yippin' and singing at the top of his lungs, "Onward-Christian-so-oh-oh-old-yers-marchin'-on-to-war............" But instead of falling toward a giant desert somewhere "over there," he and his flying WMD are falling directly onto Monticello.

Jefferson